In Which I Try To Cook a Lobster and/or it Escapes

It was school vacation. The children were at my mother’s. My wife had to work late. The perfect opportunity for a grand romantic gesture! What could I do for my amazing life partner? I know! I could make her a nice dinner, the likes of which has never been seen at our house before! I […]

How We Got Up the Other Side

Turning around to walk back in the direction of the car, I saw a road. A ROAD! Seriously?! After plunging boots first over an icy cliff and sliding through a gauntlet of trees and thorns to wind up on somebody’s second story deck on the way down, I was a little chagrined to see that, […]

A Quick Plunge Over a Tall Cliff

I was not going to be late this time. My wife and daughter were jumping into the icy lake at 11:00 sharp. I was home with the boy, and we were going to be out the door at 10:30, and no later. I looked at my watch at 10:35 and shouted “Edward! Get your stuff […]

Chasing the Color Run

When my wife and daughter signed up to do the color run, they asked me if I wanted to do it with them, which meant taking our four-year-old son along as well.  I pointed out the fact that the color run was a 3 mile jog, during which assorted people threw bags of color in […]

Things to Know Before Your First Awkward Massage

Several years ago, my wife got me a massage for Christmas.  Not the kind where she forgot to get me a gift, and so sat under the tree and offered to rub my shoulders, but the kind at an actual massage place, where professional masseuses work.  She was worried that I would not like this […]

The Desert of Maine – A Place Out of Place

Did you know that there is a desert in Maine?  You know, sand dunes, camels, an oasis, etc.  Well if you didn’t, don’t worry.  You’re not alone.  Alex Trebek didn’t either, and when someone on Jeopardy answered “What is the Desert of Maine” to the answer “This is the eastern-most desert in the US,” Alex […]

Sorry, I Have a Nervous Breakdown Scheduled at that Time

Okay, I’ll admit it.  It’s wearing me down.  This single parenting thing.  And I don’t even know what it is about it!  My wife is home on weekends, and the kids have, so far anyway, been in school during the daytimes.  The amount of time that I have to be “on” is not all that […]

The Story of the Midnight Dragon with the Backward Head

I promised to tell you this story a while ago, and since it is still Mother’s Day week, this seems like as good a time as any to tell you the tale of how my mother came to the rescue of her poor son, and the midnight dragon with the backward head. It all started […]

I Dropped a VCR on My Head and Kicked a Nurse

You kids today, with your Netflixin’ and your iPhonin’ and your Amazonin’, have no idea how hard it used to be to watch a movie!  When I was a child, your choices of movies were whatever was playing in the theater, and whatever was on TV.  Once a year we got to watch Mary Poppins and […]