In the years before I had children, and even for much of the past seven years of parenting, I have loudly and indignantly declared to anyone who would listen that I would much rather show my children sex than violence. I pretentiously and self-righteously condemned our culture of guns and machismo, wondering at great volume […]
Category Archives: Ruby
The Inter-Child, One-Man, High Speed Relay Race
Well, it’s Wednesday again. That means that Ruby has climbing after school. She has so enjoyed the climbing walls at the Renaissance Festival, and she has scaled every tree on our property, so we thought she would like to take a climbing course this year. And we were right. She loves it. Although I hope […]
How I Found Out About the Baby
It was July 31st, 2006. I remember it well. I was sitting at my desk at work, chatting with my wife over gmail. My office mate was on vacation, so I had been cleaning out all of his crap that I didn’t like in the hopes that he would not notice/care when he returned, but […]
When in Doubt, Blame Your Parents
It’s parent-teacher conference week once again, which means that my wife and I got to sit down with the people who hang out with our kids all day and hear how they don’t do any of the bad things that they love to do. Seriously, they are basically angels dropped out of heaven directly into […]
Teaching My 7-Year-Old Daughter to Curse
A few nights ago I had the rare chance to spend an evening alone with my daughter. My wife was at a meeting and my son was in bed, so Ruby and I got to pull out the superhero toys and fight some battles. As we were setting everyone up, she asked me when she […]
The Diminishing Returns of Repeated Scare Tactics
Every night after we read stories and take medicine and put jammies on, we send my daughter up to brush her teeth and then one of us parents goes up to tuck her in. One day, as I was walking up the darkened stairs to her bedroom, she jumped out and yelled “Boo!” at me, […]
My Trip to Fort McHenry – A Throwback Thursday Post By Bear
Hello everyone. It’s me. Bear. There are a lot of good stories on this blog about fun stuff that happened a long time ago, but no one is ever telling any good stories about ME! I do lots of good things too. I love to do fun things. I am going to tell you a […]
Chasing the Color Run
When my wife and daughter signed up to do the color run, they asked me if I wanted to do it with them, which meant taking our four-year-old son along as well. I pointed out the fact that the color run was a 3 mile jog, during which assorted people threw bags of color in […]
The Treasure of Mermaid’s Armpit
The sun was high as we approached the labyrinth, and we were hot. Out of our original crew of eight, only three of us remained, maps in hand and determination etched across our damp brows. I felt a swell of confidence in our chances, although time was quickly running out and my navigational skills […]
The Five Alarm Diaper of Easter 2007
I sure don’t miss diapers. But the sad thing about no more diapers is no more diaper stories. Like returning warriors with PTSD, parents love to swap and tell diaper stories, proudly displaying their scars like badges of honor. Luckily I still have some old stories to tell. Like, for instance, the five alarm diaper […]