I was not going to be late this time. My wife and daughter were jumping into the icy lake at 11:00 sharp. I was home with the boy, and we were going to be out the door at 10:30, and no later. I looked at my watch at 10:35 and shouted “Edward! Get your stuff […]
Category Archives: Ruby
Why I Was Not Mad At My Wife
It was Wednesday, which meant that I had to pick the girl up from climbing. The boy did not want to go. I had left him home once before when I biked over to get her at top speed, but it was too snowy and icy to bike now, and I was not going to […]
The Rule of Farts
Look, farts are hilarious. You know it, and I know it. They can be memorable, exciting even, and I have in my brain a list of the most hilarious farts at which I have had the honor to be present. There was that one girl on the Metro that caused the whole car to snap […]
That’s It! Christmas is Cancelled!
It is not courtyard season. We don’t see our neighbors as often as we do during the summer, when the children play on the hill and the adults sit on benches drinking cold drinks. Now if we see a familiar face, it is bundled up under a scarf or a hat, and it is only […]
Every Year (For Two Years)
Time is weird. It’s all relative, and it changes as you age. And to make matters worse, memory is unreliable. And there is nothing that makes you realize just quite how weird and unreliable you are like having children. Things I thought were true are no longer true, and I only know this because my […]
The Tortoise, The Hare, and Their Frustrated Father
Once upon a time, in the era of fables and fairy tales, a young man named Aesop was walking through the woods when he discovered an unusual looking tree with a hollowed out trunk. As Aesop climbed in to inspect this strange opening, he suddenly found himself in the distant future, where he met two […]
What To Do When You Are On Vacation And Have Forgotten An Important Medication
This is not the first time that this has happened, but I sure do hope it will be the last. I left for a weekend in Maine without Edward’s medicine. My wife gave me a list, and I checked it twice. I packed everything on that list, triple checking the medications for the children. And […]
If You Give A Kid A Laser Weapon…
How was your New Year’s Eve? Ours was awesome, as usual. Because we live in Burlington, VT, which means that we get to go to First Night! Buy a button and you have access to shows, crafts, events, projects, art, and so much more, with no alcohol, smoking, or other non-family friendly items allowed. This […]
How to Know When You’ve Won Christmas
Well, Christmas happened. Edward and Ruby got more stuff than they could ever need, as usual, and they have been happily playing with it all ever since. And after Christmas morning we went up to my mother-in-law’s for more presents. We did have a nice day off on Friday, but then on Saturday it was […]
It’s the Third Most Wonderful Day of the Year!
Ruby is very excited. She, like me, is not a morning person, and yet she woke up long before anyone else today. Edward, our human alarm clock, is still sleeping (probably because he was up at 2, trying to climb into Ruby’s bed in the hopes that this mid-night act would cause Santa to arrive […]