Exciting news in the world of music research! I have just finished an exhaustive and unbiased study in which I repeatedly interviewed myself in order to figure out which voice part is objectively the best, and I have reached a surprising and definite conclusion. Using a five point ranking system in a variety of categories such as “difficulty” and “rarity” I have scored the major voice types and used this empirical evidence to support my suspicions. Read on for the shocking results!
SOPRANOS:
Difficulty: 3 – Girls are supposed to sing high.
Rarity: 1 – At least 60% of the current global human population are sopranos.
Bowing Last: 5 – Almost always get the last bow.
Interesting Music: 4 – They get the melody, which is often the best part.
Diva Factor: 5 – We are all scared of you.
MEZZOS/ALTOS:
Difficulty: 2 – Singing low is easy. You don’t even have to warm up!
Rarity: 2 – If you are not a soprano, chances are you are a mezzo.
Bowing Last: 1 – If it’s not Carmen, you are not getting the last bow.
Interesting Music: 1 – Have you ever heard an alto part?
Diva Factor: 3 – You might get away with a tantrum or two, but we’re not sorting your M&Ms.
COUNTERTENORS:
Difficulty: 4 – That does not sound effortless.
Rarity: 5 – On the endangered species list.
Bowing Last: 2 – You may get the last bow once in a while, as you are something of a curiosity.
Interesting Music: 2 – You are basically singing mezzo music, but being male does make it more interesting.
Diva Factor: 4 – Why are you sneering at me?
CONTRALTOS:
Difficulty: 4 – You are a female countertenor.
Rarity: 5 – See “Difficulty.”
Bowing Last: 1 – Sorry.
Interesting Music: 3 – You’ve got my attention.
Diva Factor: 2 – I’m slightly scared of you, but you seem cool.
TENORS:
Difficulty: 5 – Scientifically proven to be the hardest on your voice.
Rarity: 5 – Can you ever find a good tenor when you need one? And why are they always getting sick?
Bowing Last: 5 – If it wasn’t for those damn sopranos they’d always bow last.
Interesting Music: 5 – They get all the best arias.
Diva Factor: 5 – Have been known to walk off stage in the middle of a show if the audience wasn’t clapping loudly enough.
BARITONES:
Difficulty: 2 – Even tenors can sing baritone. Just ask Placido.
Rarity: 2 – You can call yourself a “baritenor” if you want, but we know what you are. One of many.
Bowing Last: 1 – Nope.
Interesting Music: 3 – You have a few good ones, I’ll give you that.
Diva Factor: 3 – Only scary when in character.
BASSES:
Difficulty: 3 – Yeah, okay. That’s pretty low.
Rarity: 4 – Not as hard to find as a tenor, but still difficult to come by.
Bowing Last: 2 – You are probably the audience favorite. Now convince the director.
Interesting Music: 3 – It would have been a “2” but those patter songs bumped you up a level.
Diva Factor: 1 – You are friendly.
And so, to sum it up, here are the scores, ranked in order from best to worst. And now you have proof that you are either awesome, under-appreciated, and deserve more money, or you sing something other than tenor.
FINAL SCORES
Tenors: 25
Sopranos: 18
Countertenors: 17
Contraltos: 15
Basses: 13
Baritones: 11
Mezzos/Altos: 9