With the arrival of the new royal baby in England on Monday, I have seen an avalanche of posts on the subject, mostly falling into the “Hooray!” or “What’s the fuss? Every baby is a miracle!” categories. And it’s true that all babies are wonderful, beautiful miracles of creation that should be treasured and loved, but are all babies royal? More importantly, is YOUR baby royal? Here is a quick quiz that should answer that question for you.
1) Does your baby have a name? (If no, +5 points)
2) If you leave a pea in the crib, will your baby toss and turn all night, unable to sleep? (If yes, +10 points)
3) Do woodland creatures do chores for your baby? (If yes, +10 points)
4) When your baby cries, does everyone have to legally follow those orders? (If yes, +5 points)
5) Has your baby ever touched something that then turned to gold? (If yes, call your doctor)
6) Does your baby’s onesie come with a matching crown of some sort? (If yes, +20 points)
7) Is your baby’s favorite show “Game of Thrones?” (If yes, +50 points)
8) What is your baby’s preferred cruise line? (-5 points for Carnival, -5 points for Holland America, -2 points for Disney Cruise Line, +5 points for Royal Caribbean)
9) How many decrees or proclamations has your baby made? (+1 point for each)
10) Are you or your spouse a member of the royal family? (If yes, +1000 points)
SCORING:
0-49 points – In no way is your baby royal
50-99 points – Not royal
100-999 points – Probably not royal
1000 points or more – You have a royal baby!