I’ve Always Hated Yogurt

I’ve always hated yogurt.
I’ve a million reasons why.
The way it burns my tongue
And tastes like poisonberry pie.

The thought of weird bacteria
Collecting in my mouth,
Is all I need to stop the stuff
From heading gastrically south.

It even sounds disgusting,
As I blurt out words like “spurt.”
No, all of it is terrible.
Won’t even taste a squirt.

The sight of it’s disgusting,
Just in and of itself.
“Yo Gert!” I call to Gertrude,
“Put that junk back on the shelf!”

It smells like rancid evil
And it looks like dairy goo.
It feels like tiny daggers
In a slimy soup.  It’s true!

But if that’s too many reasons,
I could pick just one instead.
It’s prob’ly ’cause my son
Just dumped his yogurt on my head.