Sorry kids, but society has dealt you a hand of diminishing returns. It’s kind of a problem, but I’ll be honest in saying that I don’t know how to solve it. But I’m sure you will notice it as you grow up. The people who once thought so highly of you will suddenly start making blanket statements about you, and some will even despise you. There is a progression, and it goes a little something like this:
Babies
Everyone loves babies. Yes, there are a few places where babies are not appropriate, such as important meetings and intercontinental plane rides, but even then there is some understanding that, hey, you are a baby. You are super cute. Yes, you might make some noise, but you can’t help it! When you are a baby, everyone wants to hold you and kiss you and hug you and coo in your chubby little face. Sorry about that. It’s just that they love you so much! When a baby unexpectedly enters the room, any room really, everything stops and people rush over to greet you happily. “Ooooh, a baby!” you will hear someone squee. Yes, babies are universally loved by society. Want to sell something? Stick a baby on it. Want to hear gasps of surprised delight? Have your toddler stumble awkwardly into a restaurant. It is very cute. You will get smiles from most of the tables.
Kids
Want to not get smiles from most of the tables? Have your 9-year-old walk into a restaurant. Nobody cares. In fact, some of those same people who love babies, or who will at least smile at a baby, declares themselves to not be “kid people.” Really? You’re not a “kid person?” These are human beings we are talking about. Could I walk into your office and be like “Oh, sorry, I’m not a ‘women in their 50s’ person.”? No, I could not! That would be rude! Try bringing your kid to work, or to any sort of event in which the kids might want to participate. Some will welcome them and encourage them (Sure, Jimmy can be on my team!) and some will roll their eyes in disgust, grit their teeth, and proceed to tolerate your child, as if it were a fart that had wafted their way. Still, at least there is a mixed reaction.
Teenagers
Oh boy. Now it’s going to get tough. Because nobody likes teenagers. Society constantly mocks their fashion, their music, their lifestyles choices, while declaring them moody and disagreeable, and sometimes even dangerous. I have been around people who, literally, right in front of my daughter, have said to me “She’s great now, but wait until she’s a teenager!” Are you F%&#ING kidding me?! With an attitude like that, what is she supposed to think as she approaches puberty? Did you know that it is possible for teenagers to grow up, test boundaries, makes mistakes, and still be happy and healthy individuals? Of course you didn’t, because nobody has ever told you. But I have met some! It does happen! At this point I am starting to think it is a self-fulfilling prophecy. Keep telling the kids how terrible they will be as teenagers and it almost lets them off the hook to act however they want because that’s what you were expecting from them anyway.
How about this. How about instead of treating these age groups as uniform clumps of pre-human, how about we treat them like individuals? How about we take what we know about development and psychology, and we apply it to each person in a way that best helps them grow and learn? We need to admit that some babies are ugly jerks. It’s true. Don’t lie; you know I’m right. But when we see an ugly baby, we don’t yell at it and tell it how ugly it is. So why do we feel the need to do it to teenagers? And if you think that you, for whatever reason, are not a “kid person,” well you may just have not met the right kids yet. They are not all exactly the same.