I assumed that she was joking of course. I asked Ruby if she would rather have a peanut butter sandwich, or a bologna sandwich for lunch, and she said “Both!” And she didn’t mean one of each. She wanted a peanut butter. bologna, and cheese sandwich.
I was naturally wary. I must admit to having a bias against such a combination, simply because I had never heard of such a thing being done before, which made me think it shouldn’t be done. And this is never a good reason for not doing something. But on the other hand, my kids do not like tons of stuff that has actually been proven over the years to be delicious, so the possibility that they might like this new weird thing seemed extra low to me. And then add in the reality that I do not like wasting food, and so do not want to take chances on unknown entities, and this seemed like a terrible idea.
Luckily I am a cool Dad. I am willing to negotiate. I told Ruby that she had to try such a combination first, before I would make her a whole sandwich of the stuff, and she agreed that this was fair. I tore a small strip of bologna, added a sliver of processed, store-brand American cheese, and covered the whole thing with peanut butter. It looked like nothing I would ever want to eat, but she was excited, so I handed her the unholy concoction and she gobbled it up.
She said that it was quite wonderful, and so then I had to make a whole sandwich for her, as promised. And she ate the whole thing. Peanut Butter, bologna, and cheese. I guess she needed protein. Secretly I was hoping that this was a one-time-only, passed fad that I would not have to think about again, but that was not to be.
Some of her cousins came over a few days later and we were having lunch when the subject of the PB&B came up, and suddenly everyone wanted to try one! And not only that, but now Ruby decided that what this sandwich really needed was mayo. So now everybody is trying peanut butter and bologna, and Ruby has a peanut butter, mayonnaise, cheese, and bologna sandwich. Yum?
I suppose I should not be too disgusted by all of this. People like all sorts of weird combinations of food. I personally love peanut butter and bacon sandwiches, and bacon isn’t so far off from bologna, is it? Although, while bologna is fine, bacon is magic and can improve any food, so I don’t know if that is a fair comparison after all. Either way, I suppose that, as long as she’s eating it and it’s not making her sick, I should just be happy that she has food and is happy. But I still think it’s gross. What do you think?