Kids love bowling. This is a true fact, and even though my kids had never been bowling before, I knew that they would love it. Because they are kids. And kids love bowling.
They have played Wii bowling before, and they loved that. They also have played home bowling using a rubber ball and some empty one liter bottles, and they loved that too. But there is nothing cooler for a kid than to go to a bowling alley, put on some old worn out shoes, and hurl a ball as hard as they can down a lane, watching it for several minutes as it slowly makes its way down into one or more of the pins.
I don’t know why I never took them sooner. Bowling was clearly going to be Edward’s favorite game of all time, because it involves his two favorite activities, throwing and smashing. I can’t tell you the number of times a day I have to tell him “No Edward, don’t throw that at your sister,” or “No no Edward! Don’t smash your sister!” But finally, instead of getting a time out for such behavior, he is getting cheers and hugs! Actually, now that I think about it, maybe we should not have been encouraging the whole bowling thing…
One of the great things about bowling alleys these days is that they can assign bumpers to different players and the bumpers just come up automatically. When I was a kid, you either got those long inflatable bumpers, or else the metal rails that they had to pull out, and everyone on your lane was stuck with them, making the adults not want to ever bowl with you. But here in the future we had a great time. Simone and I had no bumpers on our turns, and when it was the kids’ turns, the bumpers just robotically appeared out of the floor!
Ruby was doing pretty well with the bumpers and didn’t really need much help, but Edward was having trouble, even with the lightest balls. He would basically just drop the ball onto the lane and it would slowly meander down towards the pins, making a few pits stops for snacks and potty breaks along the way, and then if you were lucky, it would arrive at the end near the pin area, possible knocking down a pin, or possibly rolling slowly into a pin, bouncing off, and then rolling backwards back down the lane towards the bowlers.
For a while I was trying to smack the ball with my hand as Edward dropped it, giving it a little more oomph, but it was hard to reach it a lot of time, so I decided to start kicking the ball down the lane as he was dropping it. This was bad for two reasons. The first reason is that it really hurts. Bowling balls are hard and heavy and you should not kick them. The second reason is that it makes the manager of the bowling alley come over to see what is going on with all the ball kicking. Luckily the guy offered Edward something that I didn’t even know existed: a bowling push ramp!
A bowling push ramp is just what it sounds like. It is a wooden ramp with a ball track down the front, and kids can put their balls on the top and push them down the ramp, thus ensuring that the balls have enough speed to reach the pins at the end of the lane. Edward loved the bowling ramp. Ruby was also quite fond of the ramp, and we as parents were very happy to have the ramp as a distraction, because by halfway through the second game everybody was getting tired. Edward wanted to bowl every turn and would often sneak up behind you while you were about to bowl and throw a ball in your direction. The ramp thankfully ended that.
So my advice to anybody with little kids is, take them bowling, but only play one game. Two games is way too many, at least until they are a little older. But while they are young, take advantage of the opportunity for them to release their destructive energy at a safe target. And get the ramp.