Wednesday
10:15 AM – Well, it’s done. I published it on my blog. I am going to work out for at least 30 minutes a day for all of Lent. If I don’t do it, then everyone will know. I mean, I could lie about it. These people don’t know if anything I say is really true. I could be catfishing them all. But since I am not catfishing them, I will have to go to the gym.
1:00 PM – Phew! I did it! I went to the gym! I went on one of those machines where you basically walk, but there are big moving handles. I don’t know what they are called. Clearly based on some sort of medieval torture device. But I brought my tunes, and I rocked out for a full 30 minutes! I did forget my water bottle and the gym clothes I had set out, but luckily I was still able to get my exercise in wearing dress shoes and pants. I think actually you burn more calories if you work out while wearing restrictive clothing. Something about Einstein’s laws of fabric stress I believe.
Thursday
11:52 AM – Dang it. I spent all morning writing a blog about Bernie Sanders. I was supposed to go to the gym. Now I need to go teach voice lessons and get the children and I am going to have to go on a thirty minute walk at 11 pm in sub-zero temperatures, I just know it. This working out thing was a terrible idea.
3:57 PM – I have an idea. I am going to go get Ruby’s bathing suit, and when we drop Edward off at Taekwan-do I will suggest to her that, instead of our usual routine of eating cookies and drinking Mountain Dew, we go to the gym and swim for 30 minutes. She will love this idea. She will be very surprised. I need to find some towels.
5:25 PM – It totally worked! I have maximized my time! Edward got his work-out in, and Ruby and I got ours. Ruby got slightly less of a work-out than I did because she got lost in the women’s locker room and couldn’t find the secret exit out to the pool, and I couldn’t go in after her obviously. Eventually I had one of the female gym staff go searching for her and she came out in tears, but she perked up when we got into the water. Parenting success!
Friday
12:48 PM – I did not have a good idea for a blog post today, so I made up some silly opera valentines. I hope people like them. Now that I am finished with those, I am going to take the dog on a nice 30 minute walk.
12:56 PM – It is too cold out. The stupid dog did not want a nice walk. The dog wanted to pee and run inside. I dragged her around the block. I think I got at least 5 minutes of work-out in. Later I will give her a nice 25 minute walk.
2:36 PM – The dog still does not want to go on a walk. It is a little sunnier out now. I think I got 8 minutes of exercise in. 17 to go!
5:01 PM – You’d think that dog hated the outside. Every day she begs me to take out longer, but not today! Oh no, today you would think I was torturing her. 14 minutes of exercise left to go.
10:59 PM – Got the dog out for another 7 minutes. That still leaves me 7 minutes short on exercise today, but I will round up to the nearest 30. Also, Deadpool was hilarious. I laughed for more than 7 minutes, so maybe that counts?
Saturday
9:47 AM – Working out is the worst I hate it. Everyone here looks much happier than I am.
Sunday
8:20 AM – I should have gotten up earlier and gone to the gym. Now I have to go to church. Maybe I can go to the gym this afternoon.
1:45 PM – I should have gone to the gym right after church. Now I have to take the kids to gymnastics. Too bad they will not let me participate in the class. I could try to convince them I am a very large 2nd grader?
5:10 PM – I should have gone to the gym after gymnastics. But I was making a Valentine’s Day cake, and now I have to make dinner. Did I mention that it is Valentine’s Day? Happy Valentine’s Day.
10:44PM – I did not go to the gym today. It is 20 degrees below zero out. I do not want to go for a 30 minute walk. I want to go to sleep. But wait! I just remembered! It is Sunday! Sundays are in Lent but not of Lent, right? I’m not sure, as I am not Catholic and don’t know all the rules, but I think you get a pass on Sundays. Even if this is not true, I am going to bed.
Monday
10:15 AM – I don’t know when I am going to get to the gym today. I just finished my post for the day, but now I need go teach until 2 PM, and I have to pick the kids up at 2:50.
2:00 PM – Okay, I am done teaching. I am going to try to get to the gym and work out in the 50 minutes that I have. I brought my workout clothes with me.
2:14 PM – Crap. I forgot my sneakers. And I forgot my iPod. I guess I will stare blankly at the wall for 30 minutes.
2:42 PM – I didn’t make it. I only got 28 minutes of workout in, but I really have to go. I am going to be late to pick my kids up!
2:46 PM – ACK! There is no parking?! Why is there no parking?! I usually walk, so maybe I just didn’t realize how bad this situation was, but no, I think because of the arctic levels of cold, everyone is driving today. There are more cars than usual here. I am screwed. I am going to be late.
2:47 PM – Is that a space over in the chocolate factory’s parking lot?! I know it says customers only, but…
2:48 PM – Okay, snagged a space. Now I get to sprint across a field to try and beat the bell!
2:50 PM – I think my heart is going to explode. But I hit the door just as the bell rang! And, hey, I just got two more minutes of exercise! YESSSSS!
Tuesday
6:01 AM – Oh no. School is cancelled on account of ice. There goes any chance I had of getting to the gym.
3:12 PM – Another brilliant idea, stolen from last Thursday’s version of myself. Take both the kids to the pool and swim for 30 minutes!
4:20 PM – Or sixty minutes. Either way. The point is, I was here, I exercised, and my children are both still alive. Maybe I can do this parenting thing and this exercise thing after all. Which is good, because it’s another five and a half weeks until Easter.