On Saturday morning, Edward decided to make my wife breakfast in bed. Being six years old, I did not think that he had what it took to make a truly..what’s the word…edible breakfast. But he surprised me. He made eggs for everyone. He got the bowl out, cracked the eggs, fished the pieced of shell out of the bowl, scrambled the eggs, got a frying pan, poured (most of) the eggs into the frying pan, and cooked up some eggs for the family. It was a major success.
Edward’s breakfast success led Ruby to attempt her own version, and so it was as we were finishing our first breakfast that we were presented with bowls of…food?
The bowls were full of applesauce, over which had been sprinkled what appeared to be crumbled up bits of a chocolate chip granola bar. Each bowl also contained chunks of raw, unwashed carrot. To round out the flavor profile two Wheat Thin crackers were inserted artfully at an angle into each portion. It looked like a bowl of compost.
At first I laughed. What a great joke! Ha ha! Giving us these bowls of…wait, what? We are expected to actually eat them? It is not a joke. Oh dear. For a guy with a limited palate and sensitive gag reflex, this was going to be perhaps the most difficult parenting challenge I had yet experienced in my nine and a half years of being a father. I was going to have to eat it all, and to appear to enjoy it. Oh no. Oh heck no. Okay, here we go.
I ate the carrots first, licking the applesauce off of them ahead of time, and they tasted like, you know, raw, unwashed carrots. No problems so far. It was the Wheat Thins that got me. I am someone who cannot abide the mixing of salty and sweet. Caramel? Love it. Add some salt into it? Vomit-inducing. Seriously. So now I had sweet applesauce dripping off of the salty crackers, and I somehow got it down. The things we eat for love.
Once the carrots and crackers were gone, the rest was actually not bad. Chocolate chip granola bar crumbled over applesauce is pretty tasty. You should try it sometime. And do you know what else you should try? Whatever your kids make for you. And I mean it. You have to eat it all, and smile while doing it. It’s part of the parent job description. Good luck.
P.S. – Ruby was totally not fooled by my “happy” face, though she was pleased that I ate it anyway. And when I was done, she said “Now you can write about this for your blog.” Done and done.