I was not aware that I had traded my children for dogs, but I woke up one morning and it had just happened. Two young dogs came scampering down the stairs, barking and trying to lick me. I explained that this was very gross and they had better not do that anymore. “Woof,” they said.
There are a few downsides to having dogs instead of children. The conversations are certainly less interesting. “Bark” and “Woof” and “Arf” get old pretty quickly. Also, dogs are messy eaters. They like to have all of their food put into bowls and then eaten without the use of their paws. And it is hard to wash little doggy faces when they are whipping their dang heads back and forth and growling.
But on the other hand, in some ways it is very nice to have puppies in the house. For one thing, these new pets are very obedient. Far more so than children, as it turns out. I can make these dogs do practically anything, from cleaning up all of the toys on the floor, to setting the table, to playing nicely with each other. The only thing I can’t get them to do is stop making dog noises. And the dog noises get old. It has been three days.
So I guess, despite the benefits, I would prefer to have my children back rather than to keep the puppies. It’s been an interesting weekend, but how about we trade back now. Please?