Here’s a problem that is all too common: you get in the shower, stand under the water for some unknown amount of time, decide it is time to get out, but you cannot for the life of you remember if you have washed your hair yet or not. Right? Are you with me?! You can […]
Category Archives: Cleaning
A Real American Hero, Rolling to the Rescue
After our movie screening on Saturday, as I tried vainly to clean my house for my big party the following evening, I was beset by my mother. She had, unbeknownst to me, decided to stay the rest of the day at my house with her various small children. Luckily her young minions know how to […]
Blogging with Siri: let’s see if this works!
I woke up this morning having not written anything for this blog. My children have both been sick recently, and I just haven’t had the chance to get it done. This morning I didn’t have the chance either because we had to go out, so I wondered how I was going to get something written […]
Trapped in the Bog of Eternal Stench
I’m not going to tell you exactly what happened this morning. You don’t need to know. It’s the proverbial T.M.I. that you always hear people talk too much about. Suffice it to say that I woke up in a puddle of circumstances too dire to describe, and I have had to cancel my day in […]
I Traded My Children For Puppies
I was not aware that I had traded my children for dogs, but I woke up one morning and it had just happened. Two young dogs came scampering down the stairs, barking and trying to lick me. I explained that this was very gross and they had better not do that anymore. “Woof,” they said. […]
I Am Going to Clean the House Today
Today is the day. I am going to get this house clean. I will not only put away all the junk that is all over the place, but I will organize the things that have no place. I will wash things that rarely get washed. I will tidy. I will scrub. This house is going […]
Well Played, Magic Eraser. Well Played.
Recently, my two year old son Edward has been expanding his artistic horizons by drawing on our nice white walls with permanent markers. For some societal reason that I cannot figure out, this is a problem and I need to make him stop doing it. Not only do I need to get him to stop […]
Things, and Where I Find Them
One of the problems with having children is that they are always putting stuff where it does not belong. I’m not just talking about dumping out four large bins of toys all over the living room floor, although, saints preserve us, they do that too. I’m not even talking about all the times they leave […]
Clutter Wars
There is nothing that causes an argument in my house like clutter. Our house has traditionally been full of it, much to the dismay of my wife, and now that we have downsized to an even smaller place the clutter has almost completely taken over. Now, I will freely admit to being a bit of […]
My Carpet Is So Dirty…
I’m not trying to brag or anything here, but my carpet is so dirty, that – You have to sweep it before you can vacuum it – You can’t actually see it – I can’t clean it, for fear of exterminating the Who colony that has moved in – It has changed colors more times […]