Apology to My Neighbors

Dearest Neighbors,

I am very sorry for the incident of yesterday afternoon.  By the time I realized what was happening, it was too late to stop it.  I was carrying a large basket of laundry across the courtyard to the laundry room, and I swear Edward was right behind me for most of the way.  I couldn’t really see over the pile of dirty clothes, and when I crossed the few dozen yards and finally put the basket down, I saw that he was not with me.  That’s when I stuck my head out the door to look for him and saw the incident.

Look, I didn’t even know that he knew how to pee standing up, and it certainly never occurred to me that he would try out this new skill all over the courtyard.  At first I was just wondering why his pants were down, and when I saw what he was doing, of course I ran over there to stop him, but by then it was too late.  “Daddy, don’t step in my pee pee!” he warned me as I approached.  This was good advice.  Thanks goodness it rained yesterday, right?

I especially apologize to the neighbor whose window he was doing this in front of, and who was quite clearly sitting down and looking out said window at this time.  I know we talked about it later, and you told me that you found it hilarious, but still, I will attempt to keep my son from urinating in front of you in the future.

Of course my son is not the first child to pee in the courtyard.  I’ve heard the stories.  One kid here supposedly even ran into someone else’s unit, locked the door, and then proceeded to poop on a neighbor’s carpet, so we haven’t quite reached that level of naughtiness.  But I see the potential, and I want you all to know that I am watching out for stuff like that.

Anyway, sorry about all of that, and sorry also for how loud we all are, and for anything else annoying we might do or have done.  We really enjoy living here, and we like all of our neighbors, so just know that if our kids run over and pee on your lawn, it’s not personal, and we didn’t send them over to do it.  We are just as horrified as you are.  Thanks for listening, and I hope we can enjoy many happy years of being neighborly in the future.

Your constantly embarrassed neighbor,

Tenor Dad

Posted in Bad Parenting, Edward, Neighbors, Open Letter, Parenting, Potty Training.

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