To Ruby on the Occasion of the End of the World

Dear Ruby, it is the end of the world. I’m not sure if you’ve noticed or not. No, I’m not talking about Corona Virus, although I know that seems very apocalyptic and stressful right now. Thank goodness we had your birthday party a week early! If we’d had it on your actual birthday, it would […]

Standing Up For My Friend

Today is Bleric Ack’s birthday, so I decided to get him a present. An hilarious present. At least I thought so. I pulled out my tablet (oh, who am I kidding, it was already out and in my hand), found the website I was looking for, and began the minutes-long process of ordering something digital […]

To Ruby on Her Eleven-and-a-halfth Birthday

Dear Ruby, Today you are eleven and a half. You may have noticed that this letter is technically arriving half a year late. And yes, it’s true. In the past I have written to you on your birthday point zero, and I have used this space to do it. But now I don’t write here […]

A Short List of Things I Forgot to Do in My Thirties

Like Ebenezer Scrooge awakened from a troubled dream, I sat straight up and looked out the window, throwing open the shutters and calling down to the young boy huddled on the sidewalk. “Boy! How old am I?” “Why, you’re 39 sir,” he squeaked. “39. 39! Then there’s still time! Oh, thank you boy! Thank you, […]

To Edward on His Seventh Birthday

Dear Edward, What’s up Buddy?! You are seven! I know that you know this because you have been walking around with a crinkly tube shaped into a number seven for pretty much the past 24 hours. So it is exciting. I wish that seven were not only your age, but also the time that you […]


Now you are ten. Two whole hands. I remember when you were one hand. You were so excited. Now you are both. You are all of the fingers. You are all of the toes. You are the base of our mathematics, double digits, which should be cool because you love math and are quite good […]

This is My Day. Dibs on Today.

Today is my birthday. Maybe I should not have told you that. You are most likely stealing my identity. But hey, it happens. And my identity is big enough for the both of us! So it is my special day, but is it really all that special? I mean, honestly, many other people were born […]

To Edward on His Sixth Birthday

Hey Buddy. What’s up? Well, you are, for one thing. You were up until 2 am because you were so excited about your birthday today and then, despite this fact, you were still up by 6, ready for your presents. Your sister says that you always get huge presents, and that may be true. After […]

How to Remove Security Tags From Clothing

It was the night before her birthday. She was finally in bed asleep (i.e. reading), and that meant it was time to wrap the presents. Turning 9 doesn’t happen every day, so there were some good gifts stashed away in our secret gift location. When I got to the end of the pile, I came […]

Half Over – A Mid-Parenting Crisis

This is it; the halfway point. It has taken so long to get here, but where has the time gone? Tomorrow Ruby will turn 9. Half of her childhood will be gone. And since she had a leap year in her first, fifth, and now ninth years, but will have only two more childhood leapyears […]