I get migraines. And yes, all you migraine-doubters out there, they are real migraines. I can’t tell you how many times I have mentioned a migraine to someone who also gets them, only to be met with “Well, it probably wasn’t a real migraine. It was probably just a bad headache.” Well, thanks for the […]
Category Archives: Children
Classic Fights My Kids Will Never Have
Now that summer is here and I have both of my children with me 24/7, I get to spend a lot of my time breaking up fights, trying to settle arguments, and placing children in separate rooms or, in some cases, separate floors. Many of these fights are along the lines of “Stop touching me!” […]
To a Kid, Everyone is a Potential Friend
Why is it so hard to make new friends? Why is it that many of our close friends are ones that we made when we were younger? High school friends, college friends, even pre-school friends can stick with us for decades, often after years of separation. One phone call and there you are, back in […]
How to Tell Who Your Child Has Been Reincarnated From
We all know that our children are special. Sure, everybody’s children are special, but ours are destined for greatness. You can just tell. In fact, they may have already been somebody great. If you believe in reincarnation, then we were all somebody else once before, so it would only stand to reason that your child, […]
10 Ways That Children Are Different From Operas
1) Operas only seem like they last 18 years. 2) Children are cheaper to produce. 3) Nobody ever said “Don’t make me turn this car around!” to an opera. 4) No one is appropriately impressed when they ask your profession and you say “My children.” 5) Operas like to sleep late. 6) Most Americans have […]
Energy is Inversely Proportional to Exhaustion
I just read an article from National Geographic that was titled “Runners Show Less Fatigue After 200 Miles Than 100 Miles.” The gist of the article is that, after testing muscles and blood for inflammation and fatigue on the molecular level, the people who had run twice as far were less tired. This is being […]
I Am Going to Clean the House Today
Today is the day. I am going to get this house clean. I will not only put away all the junk that is all over the place, but I will organize the things that have no place. I will wash things that rarely get washed. I will tidy. I will scrub. This house is going […]
No, You Can’t Be A Robot When You Grow Up
I’m sorry children, but there is no way that you can be a robot when you grow up. It’s just not possible. A robot is a machine that is guided by a computer program. Unless you want to be guided by a computer program, and be made out of metal and code and have none […]