Self-Righteously Cheap Wedding Themes

My friends Rumple Station and Tart Comma are getting married. Well, okay, they’re actually already married because, in true self-righteously cheap fashion, they had a secret state wedding over a year ago and didn’t tell anyone. But now that the cat is out of the bag, they have decided to hold an actual wedding. The […]

The Salvational Power of Giving

The last time I was depressed (and I mean really depressed) I lost almost everything. I don’t talk about that year very often, because I would much rather be funny and uplifting and joyous. But it happened, and I could start to feel it happening again. I quit Facebook and social media. I stopped blogging […]

Twelve Adventures: #10 – A Day at the Races

Boy, we crammed so much adventure into this weekend that I can hardly believe it all happened in the span of four days. It seems like forever ago that my wife and I drove out to embarrass ourselves in front of “Weird Al” Yankovic! (Editor’s note: wife did nothing embarrassing) We’ve been in hot tubs and saunas, […]

How To Win the Powerball Jackpot Guaranteed

Hello readers. If you are anything like me, then you are definitely winning 1.3 billion dollars in the next Powerball drawing. Although if you are really anything like me, then you most certainly are not. Because it is impossible. The odds of winning the jackpot are 1 in 292,200,000. These are not very good odds. And […]

If You Had to Start Over…

Imagine for a moment, if you will, a problem in your life. It could be a big problem (you hate your job) or a smaller problem (you hate your dining room curtains), but it should be something about your current situation that you need to change. Have you got a problem? Good. Join the club. […]

Lego Dimensions vs. Disney Infinity

Lego Dimensions. Disney Infinity 3.0. Since neither of these games are out yet and I have not played either of them, this seems like a good time for me to talk about them, don’t you think? Because I have a problem. I don’t know which one to get!!! Let’s look at this objectively. I have […]

I Was a Door-To-Door Rollerskating Christmas Tree Salesman

I was in college.  I needed money.  Because college.  And so I would pretty much do anything for it.  I made pizzas until 3 am.  I filed applications in the admissions office.  I sang concerts and solos and hymns and valentine-o-grams.  And once, for a few weeks in November and December, I was a door-to-door […]

No Tooth Fairies Allowed

Ruby does not like change.  Even good and natural change causes her to burst into tears at any given moment.  She gets that from me, as my mother will be happy to detail at length the next time you see her.  I hated change growing up, and now my daughter does too.  She hates it […]

Should You Be an NFL Cheerleader, or an Opera Singer?

A dark and terrible secret has been revealed recently, concerning the NFL and their compensation of cheerleaders.  Not only did the cheerleaders receive no benefits, but they received almost no salary.  They were responsible for all of their own training, equipment, travel expenses, and pretty much everything else that costs money, and then were required […]

The Top 10 Reasons to Be Poor

1) It Takes Money to Lose MoneyIf you do not have any money, you will not be worried about losing any of it.  Stocks, interest rates, and all sorts of other boring and stressful things will be somebody else’s headache.  You can sit back and enjoy the peace of mind that comes with knowing that […]