I’m not trying to brag or anything here, but my carpet is so dirty, that – You have to sweep it before you can vacuum it – You can’t actually see it – I can’t clean it, for fear of exterminating the Who colony that has moved in – It has changed colors more times […]
Category Archives: Stay at Home Dad
Apologies in Advance
I’m very sorry, but I don’t have time to write a blog today. I mean, I want to, don’t get me wrong, but I am totally swamped over here. So I apologize for not giving you anything to read today. Please come back tomorrow for what I’m sure will be the most awesomest blog ever. […]
Edward Does the Dishes
Edward, like Ruby before him (and possibly like every one-and-a-half-year-old), loves to put things in other things and take them out again. Packing and unpacking boxes, putting toys in and out of the toybox, and taking clothes out of the drawer, unfolding them, and then stuffing them back in are all activities that he enjoys […]
The International MOMS Club
Yesterday I attended my first event hosted by my local chapter of the International MOMS Club. We went to a playground and had lunch at a cafe, and it was very nice. Just me and all the other moms, chillin’ and watchin’ our kids. Now, I probably don’t have to tell you that I was […]
Naughtiness Is Its Own Reward
I don’t know if I would mind all the naughtiness around here if the children didn’t seem to take such pleasure in it. It seems they can’t do anything bad without a giant grin on their faces. On the other hand, maybe that joy is what makes the naughtiness tolerable. Sure they’re being horrid, but […]
The One Question You Should Never Ask Your Wife
Look, I’ve been married for almost 8 years. I’ve been around the block. I know things. I’m sure some of you oldsters are scoffing at my paltry eight years of marriage, but come on, if you haven’t mastered it in eight years, you’re not going to get any better at it. The most important thing […]
Why Do Moms Hate Dads?
There is a very weird culture among stay-at-home moms. They are very exclusive, and almost cult-like in my experience. Individually, sure, they are very nice, but as a group, they really disapprove of two sets of people specifically: working moms, and stay-at-home dads. Now I can’t speak for working moms and the wrath and disapproval […]
Free Cone Day
Yesterday was Ben & Jerry’s Free Cone Day, which is one of my favorite federal holidays, and so every year, in observance of this solemn day of gratitude, I pile the kids into the car and take a cross-town road trip to eat free ice cream. This year, the closest Ben & Jerry’s to my […]
Deal or No Meal
Babies should not be eating Doritos. I feel like this is just a truism that even people that do not have babies know, so I don’t know what I was thinking, giving Edward his first taste of the beast. It’s just that lately, he’s been eating normal food, and I’ve been giving him some of […]
Honk Me on the Bed
I mate hornings. I foe it’s my own knault for laying up too state, but when Juby comes rumping into bed, I just want to dole over and rye. When I did not have chew tildren it was easier. I could titch on the swellevision, go upstairs and shake a tower, while Juby would bink […]