In case you missed it, yesterday was Free Cone Day at Ben & Jerry’s. And if you did miss it, well, I feel very sorry for you. There is nothing more delicious than Ben & Jerry’s ice cream, except for free Ben & Jerry’s ice cream, and since the price of a small cone is rivaling that of a Big Mac meal these days, Free Cone Day is truly a godsend for us poor, simple, ice cream-loving folk.
Since Edward and I were downtown anyway, to hear some fun kids music at the library, we stopped over at Ben & Jerry’s shortly after noon. The line was only halfway down the block at that point, and we were able to get through it in about ten minutes. That seemed reasonable. I got ice cream and put it in my mouth. Edward got ice cream and put it all over his face and jacket and hands and pants and shoes and socks. So everyone was happy and sticky and we went home to not eat any lunch.
Of course Ruby was at school at this time, so she did not get any free ice cream. This meant that we had to make a return trip after school. Now, the problem with going to Free Cone Day after school, and I can’t seem to think of a way around this issue, is that school is out. This means that all children within a three planet radius were instantly transported to the ice cream line, causing it to become much, much longer.
At the very end of the line, where we eventually found ourselves, we were accosted by protesters in giant dunce caps of some sort who very very angry that Ben & Jerry’s would sell ice cream to Palestinians. Or Israelis. Or Israelis living in Palestine. Or displaced Palestinians that were oppressed by evil Israelis. Or something like that. The brochure was actually a little confusing, and it had a picture of Dan Aykroyd on the cover (not kidding), so I wasn’t really sure what they were angry about, but they were angry. And they had a lot of brochures.
Of course my true fatal mistake of the day was taking the above picture of Edward covered in ice cream, and then posting it to Facebook and keeping them on my phone, thus ensuring that Ruby would somehow see it and realize that Edward was going to get TWO ice creams, whereas she would only get the one. She politely asked that Edward not receive a second ice cream this time around, apparently not realizing what would happen if one were to make a three-year-old stand in line for almost an hour for free ice cream, and then at the end tell him he couldn’t have any while handing a cone to his sister. We would be talking about asteroid hitting the Earth levels of destruction.
So we all got ice cream, and Ruby seemed to forget about how unfair life was when she got hers and started licking away. Edward, who the first time around had seemed very angry at the idea of cone somehow sullying his delicious frozen treat, now was very interested in the use of cone for eating the ice cream out of, probably because he saw his sister doing it. And everyone had a great time, especially me because I had put Edward in a raincoat this time around, so the cleanup was much easier. And now that we have our system down we are all ready for Free Cone Day 2014!