I had the same first car twice. It was a red 1991 Mazda 323 hatchback and I loved it. After my brother destroyed the first one (although he will tell you that I destroyed it, a story for another day), I got another one just like it. Both of these cars were gifts from my father, who loved the red 1991 Mazda 323 hatchbacks with such passion that, I kid you not, after both cars were gone he would stop anyone on the street driving one and ask them how much they wanted for it. That, my friends, is true love.
So I had this car, and I barely knew how to drive it, but I was going to take a road trip to visit my girlfriend/future wife, who was about 400 miles north of me going to a college in the middle of nowhere. Such a long road trip requires snacks, and oh did I have snacks.
I was on the GW meal plan, which gave me meals and “points” which I could redeem for food at the food court or the little store in the basement of the student center. Having reached the end of the year with about $50 left on my card, and knowing that I would lose it if I did not spend it that very day, I walked into said store looking for, not so much a bargain as, well, what is the opposite of a bargain? And then I saw it. The candy section was a display of a dozen or two large plastic containers of candy, you know the kind, with the scoops attached and the plastic bags nearby for holding your candy at $Waytoomuch/quarter pound. And I saw the gummy worms, and I told the cashier that I would be buying all of those gummy worms, and did she possibly have a bigger sack?
“You want gummy worms?” she asked me quite seriously. “Because I think we have a full one in the back…” The cashier walked into the back room and brought out and entire, large, sealed plastic container of gummy worms, which I gleefully snapped up for all of my points. Feeling very proud of my purchase, I set the container up in my dorm room and invited all of my friends to stop by and grab a few, no scoop required. As I packed up my car for what would be my very first behind-the-wheel road trip, I grabbed that bin of candy and placed it on the passenger seat next to me, my constant companion for the next 8 hours of driving. I ate more than a few gummy worms that day, let me tell you.
Well I was young, and I did not know everything about the ways of the world. When I arrived at my Tenor Girlfriend’s dormitory, I removed the valuables from my car, but who would want to steal gummy worms? I left them in the passenger seat. For three days. In summer.
As the weekend ended and I prepared to leave, I noticed that the car had a very distinct gummy worm smell. My new car was going to smell like gummy worms forever, although I did not know it at the time. I also made another startling discovery. The gummy worms had completely melted, my sticky friends now permanently congealed into a gummy block that filled two thirds of the bin. Ruined. All of my joy turned to gummy sadness as I stared mournfully at my fallen comrades.
Now this is the gross part. You see, as it turned out, the heat couldn’t quite get to the gummy worms in the center, and so what had happened was I now had a gummy cave, filled with delicious non-melted worms at the center! The only problem was, once I had cut an opening into the front of the solid goo mass, you had to reach your hand through a tight gummy opening in order to pull out the worms. Tenor Girlfriend was not impressed. She advised me to get rid of the bin. But I put it back up in my room, eventually getting used to that slimy, squishy sensation of pushing my fist through a gelatinous wall in order to get the worms out. And on the plus side, I didn’t really have to share them with anyone anymore!
I kept those gummy worms for, I don’t know, at least a year I think, until Tenor Girlfriend even more strongly advised that they not hang out. But I ate most of them. And even after they were gone, their smell still lingered forever in the air of my first car. And you can get that same delicious smell in your car too, if you just follow the simple steps I have laid out for you in this post. You’re welcome.