Kids Make No Sense

I want you to take a moment this morning and just look at your child.  What are they doing?  How are they doing it?  And is it possible that there is some sort of brain in there controlling things?  Or are there several competing brains, each struggling for domination?  Or perhaps no brain at all, and your child is just a series of actions and emotions, guided by nothing?  But whatever is controlling your child, whether it is some sort of brain or not, there is one thing that we can be very certain of.  Kids make no sense.

Sense, if I had to define it without looking it up, is taking actions that will help to achieve your goals, and when you aren’t sure about the outcome of your actions, you assess after the fact whether or not it was helpful, and then you repeat, or not, depending.  So for instance, if I wanted people to not look at my naked body, I might not run down into a crowded room wearing nothing but my birthday suit.  And yet this is what my three-year-old does all the time.

“Don’t see me!  Don’t see me!” he shouts explosively, tearing around the room completely nude.  So his goal is to not be seen, and his actions include taking off all of his clothes, running into a gathering of humans, and then shrieking.  This makes no sense.  And after the twentieth time doing it, still it has not been figured out that this might not be the best plan.

If only that were the sole example of this type of behavior.  I can’t tell you how many times I have explained to him that smashing his toys on the ground will cause them to break and be less fun, and yet every toy in the house is currently in some state of disrepair.  Once he even broke a toy before he opened it, by thumping the wrapped gift on the ground.  This is why he is not getting any expensive pottery for his birthday.

I know that his life experience is less than mine, and that part of my job is to teach him these things until he gets them, but sometimes it is very frustrating to see him doing something again, that I have told him almost every single day not to do!  It’s infuriating!  How could anyone live with someone like that!?  It’s like some sort of maddening torture devised in the bowels of Hell!  It’s like…  oh, hold on.  I’ll complain more later.  Right now I have to go move my shoes out of the middle of the floor real quick.  If my wife sees them there one more time, I’m pretty sure she’s going to kill me.

Posted in Children, Edward, Parenting, Rant, Shoes.

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