Nerdstock. That’s what we voted to call our weekend. It beat out other suggested titles such as “Nerdvana,” “Nerdfest,” and “The Conclave of Nerds,” as well as many other titles not suitable for printing in a family publication such as this one. Like deer camp without hunting, like the Olympics without any sort of athletic skill, we eleven men spent 48 hours playing board games, video games, trivia games, card games, a few outdoor games, and drinking as much as humanly possible. Yesterday I really did have twelve Cokes. And by gum, they were delicious.
Now, the first thing you need to know about Nerdstock is that everything was based on coins. Every game or contest had coins on the line, and coins were how you bought your way up the leaderboard. The top spot at the leaderboard was coveted, not only because it
forced granted you the right to wear the parrot hat, but because at the end of each day, the number one spot earned you the bed. And there was only one bed. Well, that’s not entirely true. There was a room full of small bunk beds, and there were couches and platforms and all sorts of other places to sleep, but there was one room, with a king size bed in it, and it even had it’s own bathroom and a locking door and everything. There was no question that everyone wanted that bed.
The second thing that you need to know about Nerdstock is that the outcome of every single game or contest was under protest. People wanted those coins, man! Cheating was suspected at every turn, accusations were hurled about like fantasy footballs, and everything devolved into shouting matches and arguments. In other words, it was fantastic. This is what we nerd-geeks love to do! Argue about things! We battled over which movies were good or bad, we fought about how many points it takes to win Settlers of Cataan (the internet and the rulebook clearly say 10, although half of the people at Nerdstock will go to their graves saying 12), and we will prove to you by various scuffmarks in the snow that the touchdown was actually out of bounds, and even if it wasn’t, somebody obviously moved the cooler that was marking the endzone so the whole thing has an asterisk next to it in the history books.
I lost a lot of my coins on the first day in the Game of Thrones jeopardy tournament, and then I lost even more playing Avalon, Medici, foosball, and pool. I did manage to end strong with a big win at the Game of Thrones card game at 2 am, but it was already too late for me to have any chance of the bed by that time. Saturday I did a little better. Although my team lost touch football and another round of Avalon, I did manage to win both my Settler of Cattan games (one with 12 points, one with 10), as well as several rounds of MarioKart Wii. I did well at Dominion, but failed miserably at foosball again, and by the end of the evening people were betting coins on dice rolls and coin flips, all of which were under protest. I didn’t get the bed, but at least the cupcakes were a hit.
The only problem with the weekend was that there were so many games that I didn’t get to play! I missed out on the whiffle ball game because I was immersed in a round of Sentinels of the Mulitverse, and I was too busy playing Marvel Ultimate Alliance to take part in the games of Wits and Wagers and Who’s the Boss. So the obvious solution is to make this annual event a week long extravaganza. We just need more time! I’m sure our wives, children, girlfriends, and bosses will have no problem with this. And if the week next year goes well, then in two years we make it two weeks in Hawaii! That sounds reasonable, right? Although I’m willing to bet you five coins that this plan is not going to be approved. It’s already under protest.