TOSCA
Cavaradossi did send
For Tosca, his, ummm, “special friend.”
But Scarpia came,
And his loins were aflame,
So everyone died in the end.
DIE ZAUBERFLOTE
There once was a prince named Tamino
Who was tricked by a high-singing queen-o.
But Sarastro was wise,
Helped him see through her lies
By the end of the first act, third scene-o.
RIGOLETTO
The Duke was a lecherous twat,
Not happy with all that he’d got,
He saw Riggy’s daughter
And thought that he ought-er
Romance her, to further the plot.
LA TRAVIATA
Alfredo was desperately trying
To love her, despite all the lying,
But strong Violetta
Was not going to let a
Man stop her from singing while dying.
CARMEN
There once was a woman named Carmen
Who flirted with near men and far men.
But she finally did die
When she spurned the wrong guy
Who was trying to squeeze up her Charmin.
PAGLIACCI
Canio’s a clown on the stage
Who flies into a murderous rage.
Lover Nedda cries “Dear!
There’s an audience here!
Don’t stab me. Stick to what’s on the page!”