When the Magic is Gone

Magic always comes with a price.  This was never more evident to me than yesterday, as I took my children in search of some horrible thing that they had seen on television.  If you do not own a television, then you are smart and do not know what I am talking about, but if you are one of those sad 99% of Americans that does have a TV, you may know that there are, at times, advertisements on these devices.  Some weeks ago we saw an ad for “Tummy Stuffers,” and we just had to have them.

Tummy Stuffers are a cross between a stuffed animal and a suitcase.  When you go on a trip, you simply shove all of your stuff down the animal’s throat and it gets fatter and fatter until you have a large, bulging friend to take with you on your trip.  To get them you must call their toll-free number or go to their website, and they cost $20 each.  Ruby immediately decided that this was the next thing she was saving her allowance for, and wouldn’t you know it, we saw them at Toys R Us as well.  Let the countdown begin!

As it happens, we are going on a trip tomorrow, and yesterday we realized that Ruby had saved that $20 and so headed down to Toys R Us to pick up one of these delightful monstrosities.  Edward had managed to save about 250 pennies, so he brought his robot bank with him, expecting that he would also purchase whatever his sister was purchasing.  That is a whole ‘nother issue that we were going to have to deal with later.  But that bridge never appeared for crossing, because when we got to the store, they were sold out.

Ruby immediately announced that her magical bear would be leaving one in the trunk for her, and when we got outside to the car, she insisted that we open it to see if he had worked his magic.  Unfortunately, he had not.  But the toy store folks had suggested that we try Bed, Bath, & Beyond across the way, as they sell many terrible things that are only seen on TV.  We headed over and looked around, and we found every other similar product, from pillow pets, to dream pets, to seat pets, to flashlight pets, but no Tummy Stuffers.  When we asked the customer service lady, she had no idea what we were talking about, so we left in defeat.

Except that Ruby once again insisted that Bear was now waiting in the trunk with her new Tummy Stuffer.  He wasn’t.  As a last ditch effort, we headed to Wal*Mart, where we again found all of those other “As-Seen-On-TV” pets, but no Tummy Stuffers.  Ruby started telling me that Bear had hidden one in the store for her somewhere, and we had to find it, but we were out of time, out of patience, and out of there.

We checked the trunk a third time, but still no Tummy Stuffer.  No worries.  Ruby assured me that Bear would work his magic and have one waiting at home for us.  He didn’t.  She cried for what seemed like forever, and I started to wonder about the benefits of having a magical bear around.   Sure, he’s nice when people need a pick-me-up after multiple emergency room visits and other times of high stress, but was there a downside?  If he really loved us, wouldn’t he get us whatever we wanted, whenever we wanted it?  Why does Bear let bad things happen to good people?  This is all very frustrating.

After a sad and weepy evening, Ruby told us as she went to bed that Bear would definitely be bringing her a Tummy Stuffer overnight, because she had given him the money, and that it would be waiting for her in the morning.  He didn’t, and it wasn’t.  If I could work my Daddy magic, I would go out and get one today for her, but I can’t, so I won’t.  Where this leads us, I do not know, but I might advise Bear in the future to be more careful about what he uses his magic on, and how often he uses it, because we are all currently paying the price for it.  I do hope he listens, although I do not have high hopes.  He is a very naughty bear.

Posted in Bad Parenting, Bear, Daddy Bear, Edward, Money, Parenting, Ruby, Toys.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.