Why You Should Marry The Guy With the Worst Pick-Up Line

I’m sure you’ve heard at least one of them in your time. Perhaps you have said one of them. Maybe you know them all. The bad pick-up line. Any of these sound familiar?

“I hope you have a license, because you are driving me crazy.”

“If I could rearrange the alphabet, I’d put U and I together.”

“I just lost my phone number; could I borrow yours?”

“Are you tired? Because you’ve been running through my mind all evening.”

“Do you have a map? I keep getting lost in your eyes…”

“Are you from Tennessee? Because you are the only 10 I see!”

“Is it hot in here, or is it just you?”

“How’d you get through security? Cause baby, you’re the bomb!”

“You name must be a palindrome, because you look great coming and going!”

(okay, I made that last one up, which is why it is a good thing I am not in the dating pool)

These cringe-worthy phrases designed to break the ice, perhaps elicit a smile, and hopefully get a conversation started, are sometimes a huge turn-off, or so I have been told. Instead of the desired effect, they can instead produce eye rolls, head shaking, and fake phone numbers. It seems that some women, for some strange reason, do not enjoy ridiculous puns and wordplay when searching for a potential mate. And this is a terrible mistake.

Don’t you know what these terrible pick-up lines really are?! They are just the rehearsals for the dad jokes! You all know about the dad jokes, right? All of the best fathers in the world tell all of the best jokes. For instance:

“Dad, I’m hungry!”
“Hi Hungry, I’m Dad!”

“Dad! Make me a sandwich!”
“Poof! You’re a sandwich!”

“Dad, why is all of my music in this bucket?”
“To help you carry a tune!”

“Did you know I’m not allowed to be buried in that cemetery?”
“Really, why not Dad?”
“Because I’m not dead!”

“Dad! The cat just threw up!”
“Guess it’s not feline well!”

“Conjunctivitis.com – now that’s a site for sore eyes!”

“Daddy, can we watch Dinosaur Train?”
“Sure, hey, why can’t you hear the pteranodon family going to the bathroom?”
“What are you talking about?”
“Because the P is silent! Ah ha ha ha ha ha!”

Notice any similarities? Terrible puns? Painful plays on words? Yes, dad jokes are just the natural evolution of the bad pick-up line. So next time some guy approaches you with a opening line that makes you want to dry heave, maybe give him a chance. He might be the best potential father in the place. And fellas, next time you are out and about looking for romance, try this one out, and let me know how it works.

“Did you know that bad pick-up lines turn into great dad jokes?”

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Posted in Fun For Friday, Language, Uncategorized.

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