Once upon a time, in the era of fables and fairy tales, a young man named Aesop was walking through the woods when he discovered an unusual looking tree with a hollowed out trunk. As Aesop climbed in to inspect this strange opening, he suddenly found himself in the distant future, where he met two […]
Category Archives: Children
The Inaugural Load
I don’t know if there are any true themes running throughout these pages and pages of Tenor Dad posts, but if there are any, one of them has got to be laundry. From Ruby’s new house wishlist of sidewalks and laundry, to sneaking around my mother-in-law’s apartment trying to wash some clothes; from weird ruminations […]
Santa Didn’t Come!
Happy Advent everyone! Or, as my son likes to call it, Christmas. He was fairly certain that Thanksgiving was also Christmas, although I tried to explain to his resistant, four-year-old mind that they were actually two separate holidays. But he was on school vacation! And there was snow! How could it be anything other than […]
Trying Out the New “Lightless Showers”
Normally when we shower we do it in a moderately lit stall or tub that is full of distractions. When you stand under that water and let it flow over your tense body, it should be like relaxing in your own personal spa. The last thing you need is to be reminded of the blue […]
The Trouble With Parents and Experts
As a baby, we rely on our parents for everything. As a toddler we trust that they are infallible. When we go off to school we transfer this invulnerability of thought to our teachers as our parents become imperfect morons. Then we turn into teenagers and our teachers are just as dumb as our parents. […]
Watching My Kids Grow Up at the Maryland Renaissance Festival
We went to the Maryland Renaissance Festival for the first time back in 2005. It was awesome. Turkey legs. Fried macaroni and cheese on a stick. Fried everything on a stick! We loved it. So we went back again the next year. I couldn’t find any pictures from 2006, but we have several million from […]
You Have No Idea What Common Core Is, Do You?
I’ve talked to a lot of people about the new “Common Core” standards in American education, and if there’s one thing that people say about it, it’s that they hate it. But other than their intense anger at these new guidelines, I also get one other big piece of information from them. They have no […]
Just How Bad is Nudity?
Today I am struggling with the delicate balance between letting my children know that their bodies are beautiful, wonderful things that they should never feel bad about or be ashamed of, and making sure that they never, under any circumstances, show them to anyone. We all know that nudity is bad (possibly the worst thing […]
No Voice For the Oppressed: The Oakledge Park Easter Egg Hunt
It is a little known fact that in The United States of America, 1% of the kids are in possession of 99% of the eggs. I think we can all agree that this is not a fair distribution of wealth. Just because you hunt a little harder for your eggs, doesn’t explain why some kids […]
The Pros and Cons of a Stomach Flu
Dear readers, I have a terrible stomach flu. I will not bore you or gross you out with a lot of the details of such, but as I sit here, or lie here, and try to put a positive spin on things, I decided to make a list of pros and cons. You know, to […]