I know that writing letters to Santa is the tradition, but in this day and age, why can’t we call him instead? Probably because it would turn out something like this. Merry Christmas everyone!
Category Archives: Edward
Yeah, We Made Ten Giant Gingerbread Houses. What?
We had this brilliant idea. After last year’s successful Gingerbread House Decorating Party, we thought, “Hey, we’ve got this down now! We can be smooth and streamlined now! We will make the houses smaller and more sturdy! We will be organized ahead of time! We will have it together!” But like most brilliant ideas, it […]
Edward Hosts a Play Date
Yesterday after school, Edward’s best friend came over for a playdate. This is a bit of a milestone, as Edward has previously never had a best friend and has never really invited someone over before that he wasn’t forced to/related to. In the interests of anonymity I will call this friend “Larry.” And let me […]
The Roads and Rails Museum of Frederick, MD
My ten-year-old self has just found his new favorite place. It was completely by accident of course; we went there with the intention of making my three-year-old son very happy. Bleric Ack had been hunting up fun things for us to do while we were staying with him over Thanksgiving, and this was the top […]
You Just Can’t Talk to Three-Year-Olds
Look, I try to talk to my son, but I have no idea what he is talking about half the time, and I never know how to respond. Often I will attempt to reply in what I think is an appropriate manner, only to be shouted at in frustration due to my lameness and ineptitude. […]
Ruby Teaches Her Brother How to Tell A Knock-Knock Joke
Ruby is six. Edward is three. This weekend she tried to teach him about knock-knock jokes. It went something like this: Ruby: “Knock knock.”Edward: “Who’s there?”Ruby: “Banana.”Edward: “Banana who?”Ruby: “Knock knock.”Edward: “BANANA WHO!”Ruby: “No Edward, you say who’s there!”Edward: “I SAID BANANA WHO!”Me: “Ruby, I don’t think Edward knows enough about knock-knock jokes to do […]
What They Teach Them in Pre-School These Days
Edward is three and a half, and he loves pre-school. I mean loves it. The only way I can get him to go to bed at night is to tell him that he has school in the morning and he can’t go if he is too tired. I am aware that this strategy will likely backfire […]
Note to My Future Self On the Day My Kids Move Out
Hello Future Tenor Dad. It’s me. Tenor Dad from the distant past. I am writing this because you are probably feeling sad and nostalgic today. Ruby is going off to college. Or perhaps Edward is finally getting his own apartment. I’m not there, so I don’t know why you are reading this. But whatever the […]
The Old Man and the Sink
While shopping with my three-year-old the other day, it became quite apparent that he needed to find a restroom. His version of the pee-pee dance is to crouch down slightly, as if he is halfway to a football huddle, grab his crotch firmly with both hands, and then run around in a circle over and […]
When the Magic is Gone
Magic always comes with a price. This was never more evident to me than yesterday, as I took my children in search of some horrible thing that they had seen on television. If you do not own a television, then you are smart and do not know what I am talking about, but if you […]