Edward was creeping down the stairs again as I tried to finish reading Ruby her story. My wife took the turn this time and brought him back upstairs as I continued with Harry Potter. It was unusual for Edward to be out of bed; we had won a long and hard bedtime routine battle and […]
Category Archives: Edward
The World According to Edward
The Worst Words According to Edward, who is 6, there are four really bad words that you should never, ever say. And of course he says them as often as he thinks no one is listening. And what are the four worst words in the English language? They are as follows: Fock Shutup Coddammit Stupid I […]
My Son Is Cool. I’m Screwed.
I remember what cool kids were like. Never being cool myself I still saw them around, or in movies and television shows. There were a few hallmarks of being cool that are instantly recognizable, and I am seeing them now in my son. I’m in big trouble. HE TAKES RISKS If you are an overly-cautious worry-wort, […]
The Danger of Careful
We are at Costco. We are eating lunch. Edward has decided that he no longer wants his pizza, and he’s playing with the cart. I can see that he’s about to slam the cart into another unsuspecting customer, so I called out that dangerous word: “CAREFUL!” That’s when it hit me (not the cart). I probably […]
The Bloodbottler
Last week I promised to tell you a cute story about Edward on a day when I wasn’t so flustered and distraught. Well, here we are and I get to tell you that story, and then tell it again. Actually, I might tell it three times. Because even though this is a cute story about […]
Strike While the Inspiration is Hot
I had a really great post for today. A cute story about my son! Wouldn’t that have been wonderful, after all of those ranty posts about the state of the world? I was totally going to get back to what this site is supposed to be about! I had the idea all ready to write, […]
Twelve Adventures: #9 – L’International des Feux Loto-Québec (FIREWORKS!)
When I was 19 years old, I accidentally stumbled into the L’International des Feux Loto-Québec, ruining fireworks for me for the next decade at least, and I have been trying to find my way back ever since. This past weekend, as millions of drunk idiots expressed their love of the United States of America by trying […]
Mastering Edwardian Speech
When one lives with an Edward, one is immersed in all things Edwardian. You live in an Edwardian house, noted for their train track covered floors and high pitched shrieking; you eat Edwardian food, mainly hot dogs; and you are well versed in Edwardian fashion, which is to say, constant nudity. But one cannot live […]
An Honest to Goodness Early Morning Miracle
It has happened! It is not a fluke! It has been three days in a row now, and I think it might stick! Parents, you will know of what joy I am speaking. You will feel that moment alongside of me, as all of the pain of the past melts away into a brighter tomorrow. […]
What I Said to the Woman Who Scolded My Son at the Hospital
We had been there in the basement of the hospital for hours. It was supposed to be a routine blood draw, which we have had done dozens of times before, but for some reason the orders were not in the system this time. In fact, despite the fact that we had been in for a […]