Look, farts are hilarious. You know it, and I know it. They can be memorable, exciting even, and I have in my brain a list of the most hilarious farts at which I have had the honor to be present. There was that one girl on the Metro that caused the whole car to snap […]
Category Archives: Humor
How to Pick the Shows Your Kids Watch
So it’s finally happened. You’ve had children and now they want to watch television. But what to watch?! There are so many kids’ shows out there these days, and if you go in blind you might accidentally end up watching (shudder) Caillou. No, this is your first chance to guide your children’s pop culture preferences, […]
The Mystery of Who Peed on Me
It was a dark and stormy night. 6:30 AM. The sky was dark and my mood was stormy. I was asleep. Suddenly, I was awoken by the sounds of gibberish. “Bwaaaa naaa, bee boop bwaaaa!” I blinked my eyes open slowly. Very slowly. My head was taking a pounding harder than a colt in Massachusetts. […]
Seven Interesting Things to Do With Leftover Turkey
Whelp, Thanksgiving has come and gone here in America. We have all gained ten pounds, and the Earth is starting to sag ever so slightly in our direction, due to the increasing weight of Americans. But now that it is Friday, what are we supposed to do with all of these meaty turkey carcasses that […]
All About That Tenor
I have noticed a very disturbing trend in society today. The glorification of one set of characteristics over another and prejudices built into our very subconscious minds have led to an evil that we must work together to stop. I am referring, of course, to the bass voice. Not that the voice in and of […]
Fun New Ways to Mess With Your Parishioners
During Vacation Bible School in June we decorated the sanctuary like a backyard camp. The pulpit became a treehouse, the lectern got a swimming pool addition, and nature-themed decorations were put up all over the front walls. Then, after the week of fun, games, and music, we took them all down. All except one. For […]
15 Translations For Common Lies
LIE TRANSLATION That’s Plenty………………………………………That’s Way Too Much I’m Fine……………………………………………..I Don’t Want To Tell You How Bad I […]
Vaccines Linked to Deaths in Alarming New Study!
For those of you considering the question of whether or not to vaccinate your children, a shocking new study has concluded that every single person who has received a vaccination of any kind has either died, or is expected to die at some point in the next century. If you or your children have been vaccinated […]
The Top Twelve Reasons To Hit Your Sister
12) You didn’t hit your sister. Why would I even accuse you of such a thing? She is crying for some unrelated reason. 11) She hit you first. 10) You were jealous of something she was holding or doing. 9) It was hitting time, and she was there. 8) You were under the impression that […]
How ADHD Can Affect a Singing Career
My regular readers, along with anyone who has ever met me for more than three seconds, is aware that I am somewhat afflicted with ADHD, and that it often wreaks havoc on my personal life, in terms of general distractability, forgetfulness, and bouncing hypersplosions. But what many of you may not realize is the toll […]