Destruction World Tour

You may recall that I recently wrote about a problem I was having with small children changing all of the settings on my television and computer.  I am now happy to report that I am not alone in this problem, and in fact a great many people are now having problems with my children changing all of their electronic settings.

Take last Saturday for instance.  It all started when the Comcast guy showed up again.  Let me pause to thank all of you for your support regarding my billing dispute with DirecTV, and thank you DISH Network folks for relentlessly plugging yourselves in the comments section.  Hey, I used to work for AFLAC, I get it.  I hope somebody buys your dish.  But I have come to the conclusion that in a world where every corporation  is toxic to the consumer, and customer service is mediocre at the very best, that I am going to simply pick who I do business with based on how little I have to pay them.  I know, it is sad and cynical, and my 17-year-old self is shaking his fist at me, but I have given up expecting anything good from any company that makes me press more than 2 buttons to talk to a human.

Ok, that was a big digression, but the point is, Comcast is giving me television AND internet, for a fraction of what I was paying for just TV to anyone else, so even though they are horrible and evil, and a huge fight with them was why I switched to DirecTV in the first place, I have now taken them back on the condition that I don’t have to pay them very much.  And of course the first two tv boxes they gave me didn’t work correctly, so now we are sitting with this technician waiting for a third box to be installed, and Edward decides he likes the guys phone.

“Oh, it’s okay,” said the poor man.  “Let me just lock the screen, he can’t hurt it.”  And then he gave Edward his phone.  In his defense, it did look very sturdy.  It was a brick of a phone, with so many buttons, keys, screens, and a stylus, that it seemed impenetrable.  And the case!  So thick and strong!  So eventually the guy finishes up and needs his phone back, and Edward hands it back to him, grinning like an imp.  “Oh, wow, he managed to unlock the screen!” said the man, astounded.

“Oh, yes, he is an evil genius,” I replied, pretending to scold Edward for mischief well done.

“Daddy, is that man done?” asked Ruby, who wanted to watch Spongebob.

“Yeah, I just…need to…. ummmmm, fix my….” said the man, furiously trying to figure out what the heck Edward had done to his work phone that he needed to do immediate work on.  I don’t know if he ever fixed it all, but he had to leave, and that was the end of the first stop on the world tour of destruction.

We couldn’t stay to watch Spongebob, because I had to go get a new phone.  Mine was broken, and I finally had the time and money to go get a new one, so we piled into the car and drove over to the AT&T store.  Side note: I originally had Sprint, but when their customer service was so bad, I quit in a huff and switched over to AT&T, but then had a fight with them as well, swore I would never do business with them, and got a Verizon plan.  That was when I learned that Verizon was the true lord of all evil, and eventually I switched back to AT&T, with whom I have had little to no problem since.

There was a long line when we got to the store, because it was Saturday, and as a generally unemployed person, I forget that there is a difference between Tuesdays and Saturdays, line-wise, so I had to keep the children occupied.  Sure, at first they were happy to remove every cell phone accessory from the walls and throw them on the floor, but eventually that got old, and they ran out of things to throw.  That’s when I noticed the self-service kiosk, sitting unused and happy, waiting to be played with.  Surely they couldn’t do much with that, right?  They couldn’t even reach the touch screen, just the keypad!

Well, it was not long before I saw that someone else wanted to use the kiosk, so I wandered over casually to remove my children, but much to everyone’s dismay (did I say everyone?  because Edward and Ruby were giggling…) the kiosk was now completely in Spanish.  It was definitely not en

espa├▒ol when I was over there earlier, and now we could not figure out how to switch it back.  Destruction achieved.  Time to move on.
Luckily the third stop was IHOP, and all Edward manged to do was throw some pancakes on the floor.  It’s hard to mess with the settings on a pancake, but if anyone could do it, it would be him.
Posted in Comcast, DirecTV, Edward, Parenting, Phone.

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