That’s Not What I Meant By “Dress In Layers”

“C’mon Buddy, the bus is going to be here!  Shoes!”  I glanced nervously out the window for any signs of impending school bus as I tried to hurry my son into his coat and sneakers.  The coat slipped on with only small amounts of protest, but then it was time for the shoes.

“Ow!” he yelled, as I tried to jam his little feet into his little sneakers.  They weren’t going in.  I pulled; I yanked; I mushed; I squeezed.  I loosened the laces to the point that they were almost out.  I wrapped the sides of the shoe around the bottom, essentially turning the thing inside out.  Nothing.  For some reason I just could not get his heel down into the back of that shoe.  Had his feet grown that  much, overnight?!  I pulled him out of the sneaker, getting more and more worried that we would miss the bus and I would be driving him to school.

As I grabbed his ankle to remove him from his tiny little shoe, I noticed something odd.  A little stripe of blue sticking out from underneath the black sock.  “Edward,” I asked calmly, “are you wearing two pairs of socks?”

“I WANT two pairs of socks!” he screamed directly into my ear.  But I explained to him that his feet would not fit into his shoes with two pairs of socks on.  So I took off the outer pair.  That was when I noticed another hidden sock level.  And another.  Like a set of Russian dolls, I slowly removed strata until I found the base sock layer.  He had been wearing, in all, five pairs of socks.

Wearing five pairs of socks

We were both laughing hysterically by this point, and his foot slipped into the echoey cavern of shoe with great ease.  Now I had to lace that thing up again, in order to get it to stay on his foot.  That was a loose sneaker.  But we got everything on and were out the door just in time to catch the bus.  He had a great day at school, with properly fitting footwear, and I was a parental success.  Once home, we played outside for a bit and then got ready to head to Taekwan-do.

At the martial arts academy we grabbed his uniform and headed into the restroom to change into it.  He removed his one and only pair socks, as well as his sneakers, shirt, and pants.  As I was getting his uniform ready to slip on over his head, I happened to see some lines impressed onto his little body, wrapping around his stomach and waist.  Were his pants getting too tight now too?  Nope.

“Edward, how many pairs of underwear are you wearing?”

I could hardly remove the top four pairs over all of his mischievous giggling.

Posted in Clothes, Edward, Parenting, socks, Taekwan-Do, Underwear.


  1. I typically read on my lunch break. I had to pause eating to avoid choking due to the laughing. Awesome post today. I think you may have a few new fans as coworkers questioned what was so funny.

    We haven’t hit this one at my house … yet.

  2. Pingback: Around the Web for the Week of November 8-13 - Dad on the LooseDad on the Loose

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