The Unresolved Sexual Tension of Children’s Television

Romantic tension is an integral part of many great television shows.  Watching characters that are clearly perfect for each other slowly dance their way into each other’s arms over several seasons can be a real joy, or a terrible frustration.  But there is no denying that it is compelling.  Jim and Pam.  Lois and Clark.  David and Maddie.  They had the “will-they-or-won’t-they” question dangling in front of us to great success.  Of course many people will say that The Office, Lois & Clark, and Moonlighting all decreased in quality once those couples actually got together, but few will argue that the journey wasn’t interesting.  And, though it may be harder to identify, there are plenty of characters in the shows your kids watch who are doing the same tantalizing side-step.

Goofy & Clarabelle – Honestly, it kind of seems like all of the characters in the Mickey Mouse Clubhouse probably have something going on.  Mickey and Minnie are a thing for sure, as well as Donald and Daisy, but with those two couples it seems more like they are old married couples who have been together since ol’ Walty first drew them.  Goofy and Clarabelle are different.  He wants to impress her with his fancy dancing.  He wants to show off his art, but is embarrassed in front of her.  Nevermind that he is a dog and she is a cow.  They clearly want to be together; they just can’t quite figure out how to do it.

Gawrsh Clarabelle!  You wanna get outta here and go someplace a little quieter?

Phineas & Isabella –  There is no question that Isabella is love with Phineas Flynn.  She alludes to it, or outright declares it, in almost every episode.  The question is, will Phineas ever get his head out of his inventions and reciprocate?  And does he even notice?  I mean, he’s a smart kid, but he’s also a boy, which gives him a disadvantage in the knowing what girls are thinking and feeling department.  Luckily, there are a hundred and four days of summer vacation.  They’ve got time.

Aren’t you a little young to be having unresolved sexual tension?  Yes, yes we are.

The Man With the Yellow Hat & Professor Wiseman – There is so much sexual tension here, you could cut it with a machete.  He is the intrepid, but bumbling, explorer with the naughty monkey.  She is the museum curator, no rocket scientist, no university pro…  Just what are you a professor of, Professor Wiseman?  No matter.  You are super sexy and you obviously have a thing for men with big…hats.  But who will make the first move?  Will George get a mother?  Tune in next week to find out!

Isn’t is funny how two intelligent, educated people can be so lost when it comes to…hold on…GEORGE!!!!!

Spongebob & Sandy –  Is it true love, or just a crush?  That is for the viewers to decide, I guess, since they never really say it outright, but Spongebob has been known to bring Sandy flowers, sing her romantic songs, and blush a lot when she’s around, and she’s done some blushing as well, so you never know with these two.  It could happen!

This is the best day ever!  Because after we get married, I get to go to work at the Krusty Krab!

Kelly & Handy Manny – Ooooooh, you can just feel the sparks between these two!  The way that Kelly always has just what Manny needs, the way that they give each other bedroom eyes, and the way that they dance together and shyly compliment each other’s dancing, you are constantly hoping for that very special episode where they finally get married.  But would that ruin everything?!  We may never know, but until then there is a surprising amount of fan fiction out there detailing their possible relationship…

Hola Kelly, you look nice today.  I’ve got a new tool.  Do you want to see it?
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Posted in Children, Curious George, Handy Manny, Humor, Mickey Mouse, Parenting, Phineas and Ferb, Spongebob Squarepants, Television.

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