Things That Rhyme With Hug Me

By now we have all heard Robin Thicke’s “song of the summer” Blurred Lines about one bajillion times.  We saw Miley twerk a bear to it and had discussions for hours about the misogyny and general catchiness terribleness of the song.  But one of the biggest questions remains unanswered.  What does Robin Thicke think rhymes with “Hug Me?”

There is a website called WhatRyhmesWithHug.Me which is fairly amusing, but most of the things they suggest do not actually rhyme with “Hug Me,” funny as they are.  They think that things like “Bill Cosby” and “Bubbly” are good rhymes, but they are not.  So to figure out what the song is actually trying to tell us, we must do some research.  Here the things that actually rhyme with “Hug Me,” and the likelihood that they are what Mr. Thicke was talking about.

Bug Me – 40% Chance – Bug me is a pretty good fit.  The song seems to be bugging a lot of people, and also, girls who will not sleep with him seem to bother ol’ Robin, so perhaps he is saying that if you do not hug him, you are bugging him.

Chug Me – 5% Chance – Unless Robin Thicke is a beer of some sort, this makes no sense.
Dug Me – 8% Chance – Could he be referring to a girl that used to “dig him,” but no longer does?  Possible, but unlikely, since any girl that does not dig him is clearly just pretending.  He knows you want it.

Glug Me – 2% Chance – This makes about as much sense as “chug me,” but sounds weirder.

Jug Me – 4% Chance – Is this a new way of asking for a drink?  “Hey man, jug me!”  I may not be hip and cool, but I’m pretty sure no one is out there saying “jug me.”  Thumbs down to this rhyme.

Lug Me – 10% Chance – Girls are always trying to lug guys places, don’t you know?  Shopping, weddings, book clubs, rom-coms, you name it.  Girls are for objectifying and sleeping with, not for doing boring things with.  But since this song isn’t really about being lugged places, this seems an unlikely answer as well.

Mug Me – 15% Chance – Chances are, after hearing this song, many girls want to attack Robin Thicke, possibly with weapons.  Since he is oblivious to the terrible message of his lyrics, Robin will likely assume that they are after his wallet.  The last line of the song could be an unspoken “Stop tryin’ to mug me…”

Pug Me – 1% Chance – If this was the rhyme, I would assume that there would be a larger canine presence in the video and it would look more like the “Doggy Bounce” video, so I am ruling this one out.

Rug Me – 3% Chance – His hair is way too nice to be asking for a hairpiece in this way, don’t you think?

Shrug Me – 0% Chance – Shrugs are indicative of indifference, and there is no indifference involved with this song.

Slug Me – 20% Chance – I think it’s fair to say that 1 in 5 of us want to slug him, but it’s probably not what he was referring to.

Snug Me – 6% Chance – If he had instead asked, “What rhymes with huggle me,” I might safely assume that he was referencing the unspoken lyric “snuggle me,” but since he did not, “snug me” just doesn’t work.

Thug Me – 12% Chance – Would he be saying that he was a thug?  Or that a thug was after him for some reason?  Since that isn’t made clear in the video, we can’t really hang our hats on this answer.

Tug Me – 90% Chance – Ah Ha!  Finally!  A sexual innuendo that involved a girl “tugging” him!  This totally fits in with the song.  If she is tugging him, he does not have to do any of the work and he can sit back relax, and enjoy being serviced by one of those naked ladies that is always dancing around him.  Out of all the rhymes that are available, this one is really the only answer!  Mystery solved!

Robin Thicke Does Not Know How Rhyming Works – 100% Chance – Come one.  We all know what he was trying to do there.  He just doesn’t know anything about anything is all.

Posted in Fun For Friday, Humor, Pop Music.

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