Love and Marriage (and Sex)

Something has gone wrong with my awesome parenting. I think I have screwed up “the talk.” I have explained to my daughter how babies are made, and I think she understands the engineering part of it all, but somewhere along the line her glossary got a bit jumbled. I realized this a week or so ago, and then again this morning as I packed my kids up for a few days at Toy Grammy‘s house.

It is about that time of life for having the puppy fixed and, as my mother, for whatever bizarre reason, does not fix any of her animals (that was where we got our puppy in the first place!), there is a danger in sending Anna over to stay with them at this point. We do not want any future puppies, therefore our current puppy is staying home and away from those other dogs with one thing on their minds. But my children were saddened by this announcement. They wanted the puppy to travel with them for the weekend.

I explained why this was not possible, and Ruby told her brother that if we took Anna with us, that some other dogs might try to marry her. Now, normally that might be a cute thing to say, but then it reminded me of something I heard her say a few days ago when we were waiting for Edward to finish Taekwan-do. As we stood waiting next to the large aquarium in the reception area, Ruby saw two fish swimming right up on each other, and told me that they were marrying each other. Again, it was cute at the time and I thought nothing of it.

These are not isolated incidents. A week ago we saw two birds getting it on, and Ruby said “Daddy, look! Those birds are marrying!” So now it occurs to me that every time she says “marry” she means “sex.” This leads me to wonder about many other things. Like, when we tell her that someone she knows is getting married soon, what does she think? And I mean, yes, she is totally correct in terms of part of what they are most likely going to be doing, but still! When I tell her that her mother and I got married 12 years ago, what is she picturing?!

Do I tell her that people do not need to be married to have sex? I mean, we have had “the talk,” but she just turned 8. We have had only one chapter of the multi-volume “talk.” As far as she knows, sex is for making babies, and making babies is for people who are married. And this is true. I have not yet mentioned how super fun it is though, or that you can have sex without specifically trying to have a baby, or that people sometimes (all the time) have sex with no intention of getting married or creating any sort of new life! This is a complicated issue. I will figure something out. But for now, at our house, watch what you say. Because marriage is a four-letter-word.

Posted in Bad Parenting, Dogs, Edward, Marriage, Parenting, Ruby, Sex, Taekwan-Do.

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