The Adventures of a Field Trip Chaperone

Monday Night
– Asked the bus driver if I could ride in with Edward the following morning; was told I had to ask the school about that.
– Called the school to ask if I could ride the bus in; was told I had to ask the bus
– Picked out farm-appropriate clothing for the both of us
– Got a call back from the school saying that they had cleared it with the bus; we were good to go
– Psyched!

Tuesday: 6:30 AM
– Woke up to the sounds of myself being slapped in excitement
– Threatened to cancel the field trip
– Took a shower
– Ate a granola bar…and a twinkie
– Forced farm-appropriate clothing onto my son during battle

8:00 AM
– Biked Ruby to school
– Explained to Edward that the bus didn’t leave for almost another hour
– Explained to Edward that the bus didn’t leave for almost another hour
– Explained to Edward that the bus didn’t leave for almost another hour
– Explained to Edward that the bus didn’t leave for almost another hour
– Explained to Edward that the bus didn’t leave for almost another half hour

8:45 AM
– Stood outside and waited for the bus

9:00 AM
 – Stood outside and waited for the bus

9:10 AM
– Called the bus driver to inquire as to the location of the bus; was told they got a message not to pick us up at all and were already at school

9:11 AM
– Drove to school for the 9:15 field trip

9:30 AM
– Walked two children onto the bus, only one of which belonged to me biologically
– Listened to all of the things Old MacDonald had on his farm, including a pig, a sheep, a dog, a cow, another cow, a rascal, a snake, and a dinosaur
– Heard two four-year-olds propose marriage to my son, and then watched them fight over him
– Arrived at the farm

10:00 AM
– Tractor ride!
– Farmer Lindsay tells us not to grab the animals’ bottoms; good advice

10:20 AM
– Sheep patting and ram handling

10:30 AM
– Chicken parade!
– We chase many chickens around a field, unsuccessfully attempting to pick them up
– Edward and my other charge decide that the tractor was far more interesting than the chickens
– Tried to get the children away from the tractor
– Lost both of my children
– Found them by the tractor again
– Picked up a chicken

11:00 AM
– Found the playroom; salvation
– Children played happily on various tractors/farm houses
– Lost the children again
– Found the children in the chicken coop
– Milked a cow

11:30 AM
– Lunch time!
– Found out that lunch is not provided for chaperones
– Watched teachers and children eat food
– Tried to find a decent restaurant on farm grounds
– Bought a $5 grilled cheese sandwich from a nearby cart
– Was offered an extra lunch leftover from the students’ cooler
– Ate way too much lunch
– Got tummy ache

12:00 PM
– Back on the bus!
– More marriage proposals, this time with threats of violence (“I’m going to marry you and bonk you on the head!)
– Heard the words “poop, “poopy,” “fart,” and “bum” approximately 23,000 times
– Giggling.  So much giggling

12:30 PM
– Arrived back at school
– Drove my son home
– Collapsed

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Posted in Chicken, Cows, Edward, Farm, Field Trip, Photo, Preschool, School Bus, Sheep.

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